Why is Praying with Your Spouse So Difficult?

 
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed: -James 5:16 

Do you want to pray with your spouse but find it difficult?  We can talk to our spouses about so many things but sometimes praying together can seem awkward.  What makes prayer different? 

There can be several reasons.  Listed below are some of the potential reasons: 

1. The intimidation factor.  Prayer makes us vulnerable with someone other than God.  We must be willing to open ourselves to our spouse. 
2. Feeling inadequate.  Are we afraid to show we do not really have it all together? What will he/she think of me? 
3. You feel out of control.  Being vulnerable may make you feel that you are weak. 
4. The scheduling dilemma. Couples often find they both have full and conflicting schedules and demands.  We must find a time that we can both be together and focused. 
5. You have never prayed together and do not know what to say. What if I say something wrong? 

Now that we have looked at some of the reasons why it can be difficult, what can we do to begin or to strengthen prayer time with our spouses? 

The first thing we need to do is set a goal as a couple. Our goal is to emerge from our prayer together feeling stronger, more supported and more unified in Christ.  In the Bible we read that praying together is often stronger than praying alone. Daily prayers can bring a couple closer together and they can feel God’s presence in their marriage. We can share our fears, insecurities, and vulnerabilities with God and our spouses. This will open the door to communication. It strengthens our bond to each other and allows us to support one another better. 

Now that we know the obstacles and benefits of praying for our spouse, what can we do to have quality prayer time with our spouses?  Here are a few ways: 

1. Create a prayer schedule that considers each other’s schedule and demands. 
2. Start with a silent prayer.  If praying aloud is uncomfortable for you or your spouse, you can start by praying silently.  In time, you may become comfortable with praying aloud. 
3. Keep it short, at first.  This keeps either spouse from being intimidated. 
4. Do not judge!  Do not criticize how they pray or what they pray about.  Be supportive. 
5. Actively listen. Do not rush prayer and really listen to what your spouse is saying. Slow down and be present in the moment. 
6. Pray about everything!  Pray for your spouse, any marital issues, and children. Pray for a blessing on your family and spouse. 
7. Remain committed to praying together.  The more you pray together, the easier it will become.  
8. Pray holding hands.  When prayer is over squeeze hands and have a moment of silence together. 

Although praying with your spouse can be difficult, the benefits far outweigh the obstacles.  It can be a time of sweet fellowship with your spouse and your God. 

“Heavenly Lord, thank You for the differences that you weave together to make our marriage strong. Help us to be more thoughtful, giving, and forgiving in how we tend to each other’s hearts-James Dobson.